Regardless of how enlightened and aware we may be, the fact remains that we are in a physical body having a human experience. As such there are times when we will undoubtedly find ourselves in conflict with someone else. It is a natural part of life. Falling Into The Lose/Lose Trap The conflict usually arisesRead More
Discover How Your Words Impact Your Life and Relationships
If you have been reading this or similar blogs for any length of time you are well aware of the power words have on your subconscious mind. Of ocurse I have talked about the power of affirmations quite a bit, and even did a short video on my Five Minute A Day Power Affirmations Routine.
Today I want to focus on the words we use to make agreements either with ourselves or someone else. Quite often we overlook the power of our words especially when we feel the “agreement” isn’t that important to begin with, such as arriving a few minutes late for an appointment.
I had a situation today with someone who was doing some work for me. I had already spoken to him a couple days ago about the importance of keeping his word and being on time. I went on to further explain that being on time meant being ready to work at the appointed time. It is not enough to show up at 7am take 10-15 minutes to get ready to work and then start working at 7:15am, if you had agreed to start work at 7am.
With His Words, He Was Only Deceiving Himself
In the situation today he had agreed to show up at 6:45 am to ensure that he started working by 7am. When he showed up at 7:10am. I asked him what happened? He said “I am not going to lie, I ran late”. I responded “I know, what happened?”. He took offense to my question and responded why are you getting on my a**, I am only a few minutes late”.
I said “you’re twenty five minutes late” He showed me his watch and said “what time is it?”. I responded “What time did you agree to be here?” He said “Yeah but I don’t start work until 7am”. This is coming from someone who prides himself on being “honest” and who wants me to refer him to others so he can get more work.
It may seem like I’m making a big deal about a small thing, and that is my point. How can we trust ourselves to make big changes in our life, if we can’t even be honest with ourselves about the little things. Every time we fail to keep our word or honor our agreement, no matter how small, it gets reinforced in our subconscious mind, that we “don’t do what we say we’re going to do”.
The Subconscious Mind Does Not Distinguish Between Big And Small Agreements
Remember the subconscious mind does not have the power of reason. It views not keeping your word about being on time the same as not keeping your word about paying your bills, or being faithful to your spouse. To the subconscious mind their is no difference.
I find that people make agreements far to lightly, and after making them don’t take them seriously enough. It’s not just a matter of letting someone else down, we also let ourselves down. When that happens all those judgements about feeling unworthy and less than, just intensify.
A Wonderful Book Yo Consider…
There is a wonderful book that has been out for several years, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, that I recommend. It does a beautiful job of explaining the importance of keeping our agreements, and the needless suffering that results when we don’t. I have listed the Four Agreements that are in the book below. I hope and trust you can see the wisdom in these agreements. and will be encouraged to investigate them further.
The Four Agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
I weclcome your comments on this post as well as suggestions for future posts.
better relationships, mindfulness, power of your words
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